不知道为什么，感觉上我们之间的感情已经不如以前。好像少了谈话，少了联络。即使我们要联络，是那么的容易。也许是我的问题吧。由于发现了一些事情，就觉得我在你心目中的地位，原来也只不过如此，与其他人没差。会不会是因为之前的感情太好了，所以现在竟然会有一种好像被欺骗了的感觉？我们之间，好像不知在什么时候不知不觉地起了一道墙，还是距离被拉远了。虽然不想失去你，但我也没有做出什么实际行动。你好像也没察觉到吧？就算我们不再谈话，你也无所谓吧？没关系，我们之间，原来就只不过如此。之前一切，都只是我在一厢情愿，想太多了。
失望。无奈。气恼。
Monday, February 7, 2011
Thursday, February 3, 2011
A whole new year, a whole new challenge (or many challenges?)
Since end of last year, I have been having this very strong feeling that this year's gonna be a very different year, not only to me, but to those around me, and I guess maybe almost everyone! I wasn't sure why, but I just had this feeling that it's gonna be a year of changes and a year of challenges. Was pretty excited to start the year, came up with lots of new year's resolution but haven't posted them up.. Eekz! will do that later.
So I have recently just accepted a huge challenge. To do something that I have never done before, and never even dreamed of doing before. I'm not sure why things are moving towards this direction, but I hope I'm not hearing wrongly and I'm doing the right thing. Although things have not officially started, I'm already starting to feel the pressure. It isn't easy for me to blend into a group of people whom I've never really had much ties with, since I have the tendency to close up myself quite often. Not only that, there're so many issues going on, and expectations too I guess from those who are looking, on top of the expectations I have of myself. I've always been the pampered one, but now taking on this role probably means saying goodbye to the "me" who always hide behind someone bigger? How am I going to do it? If I were alone, it's impossible. But I know I'm not. =)
Could this be what I've been feeling? Could this be the reason I'm back? Will they accept me? Am I the right person? I don't know.
Apart from that, i can foresee many new challenges coming along in the near future, including ending my student life and stepping into a working young adult's life, settling one million issues before I can officially start my nursing career, earning my own income, adapting to a whole new environment of the health system and nursing in malaysia, brother leaving to overseas for studies, etc plus others which I have not forseen.
My my... *takes a deep breath in* I shall take each one as they come with all the courage I have and all that my dear Lord gives me! JIAYOUUUUU!!! =D
So I have recently just accepted a huge challenge. To do something that I have never done before, and never even dreamed of doing before. I'm not sure why things are moving towards this direction, but I hope I'm not hearing wrongly and I'm doing the right thing. Although things have not officially started, I'm already starting to feel the pressure. It isn't easy for me to blend into a group of people whom I've never really had much ties with, since I have the tendency to close up myself quite often. Not only that, there're so many issues going on, and expectations too I guess from those who are looking, on top of the expectations I have of myself. I've always been the pampered one, but now taking on this role probably means saying goodbye to the "me" who always hide behind someone bigger? How am I going to do it? If I were alone, it's impossible. But I know I'm not. =)
Could this be what I've been feeling? Could this be the reason I'm back? Will they accept me? Am I the right person? I don't know.
Apart from that, i can foresee many new challenges coming along in the near future, including ending my student life and stepping into a working young adult's life, settling one million issues before I can officially start my nursing career, earning my own income, adapting to a whole new environment of the health system and nursing in malaysia, brother leaving to overseas for studies, etc plus others which I have not forseen.
My my... *takes a deep breath in* I shall take each one as they come with all the courage I have and all that my dear Lord gives me! JIAYOUUUUU!!! =D
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